Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Happy No Chemo Tuesday

Today is usually the day Chris would have to go get chemotherapy, but not today! Not for this whole month! This is the first break Chris has had in 6 months. Hopefully, it is the start of a lifelong break. We'll have to wait until April 2 to find out for sure. But until then we're going to try and get back to normal life. It wasn't possible to celebrate the last round of Chemo two weeks ago since he still feels pretty awful for a while, so we planned on having a party on the first "No Neupogen Friday" and "No Chemo Tuesday."

No Neupogen Friday happened a few days ago. Chris didn't have to spend almost $700 for the tiny 3 vials of Neupogen (the drug that makes all this chemo possible by giving his immune system a nice boost to be "healthy" enough to get the next round of poison.) I didn't have to give him a shot of 1 vial each day in his stomach over the weekend. Chris didn't have to feel any bone pain or other unpleasant Neupogen symptoms. WAHOO!

We celebrated No Nuepogen Friday apart since Chris was helping out with our church's Young Mens Camp out. The kids and I had FridayNightMovieNight by ourselves and watched Lion King and ate homemade pizza (that turned out pretty bad, actually). Chris got to enjoy sleeping out in the roughly -10 degrees C weather in an igloo (they call them Quinzees) he scraped out himself. More pictures on that will hopefully come but they're on Chris' phone and I don't have access to them. So.... no this wasn't the party I had originally had in mind but what could I do?
Well, I could stop "having party's in mind," since today, No Chemo Tuesday hasn't gone as I'd imagined either. Moments after Chris left early for work I had to escape from the kids to the only place in the house I can lock myself in: The shower/bath portion of the bathroom. I ended up showering while I was there and theres nothing like warm water on your face to bring out the tears. I spent most of the morning moping in bed, trying to disengage myself from the world around me as much as is possible while still being in charge of the well being of my 3 little children. They mostly left me alone and enjoyed the minimal supervision by playing with LOTS of water, ALL my pots and pans and a handful of toys. I eventually pulled myself together and got out of bed, found out the details of what they were doing and actually enjoyed watching them play for a bit. But one look at the kitchen table told me I needed to really get it together (is a new gallon of milk still ok if its been out for maybe 2 hours but still feels cold?)
I will say that while I'm sad and a bit mad at myself that I had a morning like this one, I am quite pleased that I didn't take it out on the kids. (It really is all my own causing anyway.) I didn't yell or get angry once. In fact it was their faces that made me first smile. Their faces and the fact that while I was hugging them Alec said, "I like this. I like to cuddle with you." Funny how "cuddling" is the word he used to describe what he was doing. I would have used, "tenderly maul" or "pile on top of" or "wrestle."

I needed them contained while I cleaned up and I was feeling a need to make up for my disappearance earlier so I made a big fort and let them watch a movie in it with the portable dvd player while eating snacks for lunch. I put on some Aaron Copeland and then some Mormon Tabernacle Choir and got to work. Not my normal cleaning music but I needed something soothing.

So, so far we've celebrated No Chemo Tuesday by laying in bed all morning, wearing PJ's all day (the kids got their clothes quite wet earlier....and Charlie wanted warm Pajamas back on, so...why not?), and watching a movie in the morning. Kind of appropriate in an odd the-tables-have-turned kind of way.

There is still hope for a fun evening, if my headache goes away and we can figure out a practically free, yummy, kid-friendly place to get dinner.


Ryan + Jess said...

I'm sorry your parties haven't worked out how you wanted!

and somedays you just have to cry! I hope you have a fun night tonight :)

MandaMommy said...

I totally understand your need for party days. It's great to celebrate every chance we get, right? BUT, WAHOOOOOOOOOO for no neupogen and no chemo! YAYAYAYAY!! And seriously, kudos to you for the way you managed to pull out of that with it pretty much having nothing but a positive effect. That's really amazing! I hope you got some good partying in tonight, but if not, we're still super excited for the chemo break you guys get. (Also, awesome fort.)

Heather said...

You're all doing a fabulous job making it through this tough time. Enjoy your PJ's & movies...great choice of calming music too :-)

We love you soooooooooooo much & are extremely happy for your March break from shots & chemo.

Wishing you a wonderful month of rest, healing, restoring, & recovering...

merilee said...

You are so awesome Brittney...some days are just extra hard. Sometimes they come when we get a chance to "breathe" and not always when things are the hardest. I hope the rest of your month is good and that you have some fun party times! Love you :)

dixie said...

Way to be flexible and pull out whatever kind of party/celebration you can. PJ's, water, forts and movies sound pretty darn good to me.

brittany said...

Hooray for a break from Chemo!!!!! So sad the parties haven't worked out yet. Hopefully yall found a good way to celebrate last night. Here's to many more Chemo free tuesdays and parties.

Anonymous said...

Okay, my homemade pizza hardly ever turns out either!! What's the deal with that, seriously, its bread, sauce and cheese.

If anyone deserves a day to let it all out, its you. I'm glad you got it out and are ready to keep on truckn'! And this time hopefully is a fun truck you're getting on :)
Love ya, Brittney!