Episode the 5th

SHORT AND SWEET VERSION PART FIVE: Chris bungles it big time, and Brittney finds it in her heart to still be friends.

LONG VERSION PART FIVE: One night he said he wanted to talk so we found ourselves driving in his car, visiting some of his favorite spots in Provo. I kind of expected him to say something like, "will you be my girlfriend" and he ended up saying things that I took to mean, "Some girls I like right away, some girls I know I'll never date and some girls I like, but would rather not date and you are in the last category." (To be honest, I am probably taking it easy on Chris with that "nice version" recap of the conversation). Needless to say I held the social gee-i'm-glad-we-had-that-talk face on until I cried myself to sleep that night.

This is the portion of the story that I will never live down. I am not sure, looking back, that I entirely knew or know what I was trying to say or do, but somehow Brittney didn't give up on me, for which I will be forever grateful. The only things I can add, which apply from here on out (for today's post) are that I obviously still wanted to be close friends with Brittney, communication and being on the same page were my goals, and most of what I said probably came out differently than what I imagined in my head. This concludes my comments for today's post.

My roommates were upset with him and told me not to call/receive calls from him for a few days at least. That’s how the game is played. Well, I don't play the game and I missed seeing him. So I answered my phone when he called and went to watch his soccer game like he asked. We were friends after all, but I no longer made jokes about dating and was lots more careful to keep space between us when we were close. I would have hung out with him any time he asked, so I tried to be not completely available. I didn't have to lie when I told Chris I already had plans that weekend to go to a club with my old friend, Dan.

Meanwhile, he kept throwing crazy signals. While his words said one thing, his manner of speaking and looks and continued efforts to remain such close friends spoke the opposite. Despite how it looked, it really wasn't that hard or surprising to still be great friends. One Sunday, he told me about how he and his cousins try to walk home from where we had Church (BYU’s Testing Center!) as slow as possible, taking baby steps the whole way. Chris wanted me to try it with him and it took us 45 min to walk what normally takes 8. Even his cousins got fed up with how slow we took it and they beat us home by 15 minutes or so.

We still talked a lot and he found out how I took his words from our conversation in the car. Apparently far from saying, "I don't want to date you" he was trying to say, "I'm not sure I'm ready to commit to dating you." Dating someone to him, meant a lot more then what dating someone meant to me. He had a few other girls he was interested in and wasn’t sure he wanted to leave them in the dust by starting to date me.

Well, I didn’t want to be so forward that I pushed him into dating me, so I took a step back and declined to initiate much. He kept calling to hang out and we went to see his high school Provo High, play their rivals, Timpview, in basketball. Chris follows all sports and still keeps updated on how Provo does. It’s a little silly and a little endearing at the same time. I don’t even remember who won; I just remember feeling two totally opposite emotions: Happiness to be near him, yet pain to not touch or flirt too much with him. I did not want to throw myself at someone who wasn’t sure he wanted to date me.

Part 4

SHORT AND SWEET VERSION PART FOUR: We go on a triple date, although not with each other and then find out we are liked by the other.

LONG VERSION PART FOUR:
The next day, Saturday, Steve still needed a date for their triple date and so I canceled a date (at least I thought I did, turned out the guy never got the message and he still came by to pick me up) and went with him. I watched Chris be a perfect gentleman to his date (a girl his cousins set him up with because they were "perfect for each other" = they were both tall) while all the time I wished he was paying all his attentions to me. Chris did show a little extra favor to me by giving me a big hug when cutting onions made my eyes water so bad I was practically sobbing and also when he placed us around the table for dinner (we were at his parents house). We sat next to each other on one side with our dates on either side.

Truth be told, I was the one that suggested to Steve that he invite Brittney. I don't know that I thought the whole thing through completely, but I did know that I would rather be around Brittney than not. I think I was beginning to be very conscious of Brittney and desiring of her attention and affection, and so I was careful to interact with her where appropriate. But at the same time, my roommates had been raving about this "perfect date" for so long that I felt I had to give her a chance as well, to be fair to Steve and Ryan. I am taller than both of them, and they always would go on about how they hated it when tall guys would date short girls, because then who are the shorter guys going to date?

Steve and Chris at their grandma's egg farm

Steve and I still had fun but by the end of the night I was a little depressed. Chris' date was tall, funny, blond, nice, and an excellent piano player. Steve, not knowing my crush on Chris, kept trying to bait me into commenting on his and Ryan's awesome match-making skills: "weren't Chris and whats-her-name having so much fun together? weren't they perfect for each other? shouldn't Chris totally date her?" Unfortunately, the answers were all "yes." Because the girl lived a few blocks from our apartment, Chris walked her home while Steve walked me home, while Ryan took his date home. My roommates were all excited to hear how the date went. They all were in on my love affair with VP12 and they each had ideas on which guy I should like the most. Carol wanted me to like Ryan, Suzy couldn't decide between Ryan and Steve and Lacey liked Chris. By now, though, they knew I liked Chris. Anyway, I moped in the apartment, saying as little as possible to them and closeted myself in the bathroom to think over the night. Seconds later there was a knock on the door and I heard, "Britt, its Chris"

The most important person for me on the date was already Brittney, and I just needed to touch base with her before the night was over, without the other girl around. At this point I already needed to be around her as much as possible.

VP3 all G-ed up for a silly party: Carol, Suzy, Lacey and me

We talked at the table about how the date went and I tried to act the good friend. I think he still only thought of me as a cool girl friend person at this point. When asked how he thought the date with that girl went, he said, "I can never tell when a girl likes me" and being a straightforward person I lightheartedly said, "Well, I like you Chris." Not understanding the deeper meaning he gave a noncommittal grunt and said, "Oh, its midnight I better go." AH! I could've died, why do I say such things? Good thing he didn't seem to notice. He seemed to want to talk longer so he asked if I'd walk him to his door. I just wanted to be done for the night, but I couldn't say no to more "chris-time" so I did and ended up hinting that I might have meant it when I said," I like you, Chris." I know he got the hint, but he's not the type of person to say something without really meaning it so he just smiled, gave me a hug and walked me back to my door.

This is probably one of the more frequently referred to episodes from our dating story. It was only natural that the topic of conversation be the date that we had just completed, and while I had a good time with my date, the more important concern was Brittney's feelings. I think my response of "I can never tell when a girl likes me" was partly an attempt to get out of having to discuss my feelings towards the other girl. The hard thing to convince people of is how naturally, quickly, and matched to the conversation Brittney's "well, I like you chris" was. It was very easy, and in my opinion natural, to interpret this as a friendly comment showing support. It was very clear very soon that Brittney meant something different (based on her reaction, and once I had a chance to fully parse her statement), but the curfew had come and I had to go home. But I could not leave our interaction at the stage it was at, we needed some sort of conclusion. So, I invited her to walk me home. She then commented on how she always said too much, and by now I knew there must have been something to her comment. I was so flattered and grateful to have such a girl like me that I gave her a big hug and walked her home. The date had definitely been a success, but not in the way my roommates had intended.

The next Sunday, Chris wrote me a bunch of Compliment Can notes again and one said, “I like you too.” We kept seeing each other a lot and I'm not sure how it got to this point, but somehow we were open about the fact that I would gladly date him if he wanted and if he didn't we could just be friends. I honestly really felt that way. I had a good friend on a mission who I was happy to think about, but I thought Chris was really fun to be around and I wouldn't mind dating him either. It was kind of a joke between us. I occasionally made comments like, "why don't you just date me?"

By this point it was obvious to us and I am sure anyone else who cared to notice that we both liked each other. I was so glad to be such good friends with a girl I liked and to have her like me back. What fun.

to be continued...

Time out...

A quick time-out from our love story. While I wait for Chris to add his comments to the next part of our story, I'll write about our fun Valentines Day dinner. We stayed at home and put the kids down and then cooked a nice meal together. We made chicken coconut curry, with fancy basmati rice and naan, topped off with raspberry-vanilla trifle for dessert. We didn't buy each other anything or go out since we just had an IKEA purchase recently. Dinner was SO good. It was perfect and good to know that we can have an enjoyable evening just staying at home, being together.


Both the chicken coconut curry and naan recipes came from allrecipes.com. I love that site. The naan was so soft and chewy and the curry was simple and sweet but full of spice.

Pea and Almond Pulao

(the fancy basmati rice - from the Woodward Family cookbook)

3 TB vegetable oil 3 cups water
1 small yellow onion 1 tsp salt
1 TB cumin seed 1/4 cup frozen peas
1 tsp black pepper 1/4 cup toasted almonds
1 1/2 c Basmati Rice

Wash and drain rice 3 times to remove starch and foreign debris. With burner on high,heat oil in heavy duty brasier. Add onion and cook until translucent (not brown), about 2 minutes. Add cumin seed and black pepper and stir until bloomed, 1 minute. Add rice and stir, 3 minutes. Add water and salt--stir well. Let rice boil on medium heat until all liquid is gone. Turn off heat. Cover with lid. Let stand 20 minutes. Fluff rice gently with a fork. Before serving gently toss in toasted almonds and peas.

Heavenly Trifle
(Also from the Woodward Family Cookbook)

2 large packages Jello vanilla pudding (not instant) or home-made custard
1 TB almond extract 1 tsp rum flavoring
3 (10 oz) pkg. frozen raspberries, thawed 1 medium-sized angle food cake
3 TB cornstarch 3 TB water
1 pint whipping cream 1/2 c powdered sugar

At least 6 hours before assembling trifle, prepare vanilla pudding or custard (home-made custard tastes the best). Add almond extract and cool in covered bowl in refrigerator. Heat raspberries just to boiling, and add cornstarch which has been mized with the water. Cool in refrigerator in covered container. Two or three hours before serving, whip cream. Add powdered sugar and rum extract. In crystal bowl or sherbet glasses, break angel food cake into bite size pieces. Cover raspberries with vanilla pudding. Next layer sweetened whipped cream. Makes approximately 20 servings.

Alec always tries to be close to Charlie and do what he is doing, even if its just relaxing in the red chair. Usually, Charlie doesn't mind.

Part 3

SHORT AND SWEET VERSION PART THREE:
We see each other every day, learn more about each other, and (sort-of) hold hands.

LONG VERSION PART THREE:
Sometime later that week, I got up the courage to knock on VP12's door, just to say hi. Chris was the only one home. He was lounging in one of their couches after coming home from some sport-game. He was sweaty and had on his green warm-up pants with his sweat head band holding back his long hair. He ended up playing the first 30 seconds or so of ALL of his favorite songs that I didn't recognize the title of. He had A LOT of favorite songs I didn't recognize but I politely listened to it all and gave appropriate comments like, "oh, yeah that does sound cool." even if I didn't super mean it. I was just surprised to hear him open up and talk so much, I'd say anything to get him to continue.... it didn't take much.

Sometimes I feel sad that I unleashed on Brittney like that, but she did a good job of politely feigning interest. I guess in the big picture, now she knows most of that music almost as well as me!

I don't remember all of what was in that musical barrage, but here were some of the key components: radiohead, weezer, radiohead, dashboard confessional, hum, and did I mention radiohead?

A day or so later, I was over at my brother's house with my sister-in-law, Ashley doing our habitual Thursday Cooking Nights. She was graciously teaching me how to cook since I'd never touched raw meat until then, my sophomore year in college. Chris called my cell phone and asked if I'd like to go to a Hip Hop symposium on campus with him and Steve. They picked me up and we went and listened to a lecture on the history of Hip Hop. I sat in between the boys and waited for the chill to creep up my spine every time Chris' knees touched mine. We then roamed the rooms upstairs where loud music blasted and people danced. It was funny to watch Chris and Steve bust their moves. They liked acting uncoordinated/silly even though they both could dance just normal whenever they chose.

At this point, Brittney had definitely obtained “coolest girl the apartment knows” status, and was our first option for hanging out. I felt that I had a special connection with her (after my music-a-thon) and had such fun being around her.

That Saturday was Valentines Day and my cousin Carli was in town staying with me. I was sad I couldn't show her a really fun "college" scene for it since I didn't have any hot dates lined up. Chris and his roommates surprised us around 10pm by coming over with a deck of cards. We played games the rest of the night until midnight. Good old Honor Code.

Like I said, she was definitely our favorite person to be around.

On Monday, there was a baby shower for Ashley at my apartment and my whole family was in town for it. Chris and his cousins/roommates stopped by at the end for the extra food. I desperately wanted Chris to talk a lot to my parents so they could meet him, and while he did talk with them a little, he mainly just played with cute Mary. He really enjoys being around kids.

What can I say, I can’t pass up time with a cute little baby. It was fun to meet Brittney's family, in a very non-confrontational way.

At the baby shower

We saw each other almost every day that week. Friday I was over at their apartment, as it came to be habit, and watched Long Summer or whatever that surfing movie/documentary is called. Chris had his head in my lap and I was messing with his hair, then tickling his arm and all of a sudden he moved his hands to cover mine. I didn't pull my hand away and he didn't move his. Of course as soon as the movie stopped, Chris sat up and it didn't happen again that night.

The movie is actually called “The Endless Summer,” a magnificent film. My roommates and I got on an “Endless Summer” kick and showed it to anyone who came over for about 3 weeks. A really fine film, if you haven’t seen it. Very relaxing and just inspiring. And perfect for the subtle hand-touch.

what a great movie

Part 2

**Chris has added comments in blue italics after each paragraph to give his side of the story. The first post has been revised.**

SHORT AND SWEET VERSION PART TWO:
Chris remembers me as we got in a snowball fight and went sledding.

LONG VERSION PART TWO:
A month or so later a friend and I ran back quickly from Ward Prayer to ambush VP11 (Victoria Place apt. 11) boys with snowballs. I threw the snow balls a little too early and instead engaged VP12 (Chris' apartment) in a snowball fight. By the end of the night, I was on Chris' team completely soaked since a guy dropped a bucket of water on me from an apartment above. We made a plan to get him back during the Ward FHE sledding trip the next night. For me, all that talk of "tomorrow's master plan" was a silly way to get them to remember me beyond one day.

This night was the first time I remember Brittney as Brittney. (Embarrassingly, she had sung in Sacrament meeting earlier that day, and I didn’t make the connection). We were never ones to pass up a snowball fight, and it was quite the awesome one. I remember the best strategy to get the people up on balconies was to hit the rail in front of them and have the snowball poof in their face, covering them with cold goodness. My first memories of Brittney are of a cute girl, running around with long, completely frozen hair, and having a blast. Once, when she ended up on her back in a snow drift I reached down to give her a hand up. Looking down into her beautiful face, that was the first time I was tempted to kiss her, a temptation I am happy to give in to every day now. Such a fun evening.

Jen, ? and me (Jen was my snowball fight partner)

Somehow we arranged to be in the same carpool heading up to Rock Canyon's bowl for the sledding trip. It was so stuffed I had to either sit across Chris' lap in the back seat, or on his cousin/roommate Steve's in the front seat. If I remember right, both boys gave good reasons why I should sit with them. I ended up on Steve's in the front seat and I remember being a little sad, not to be by Chris. This is probably where I started to realize I liked Chris most especially. Being the jokester I am, I would sneak up behind Chris and his roommates and try to push them down the hill. Most guys will let a girl "win" in a physical confrontation. Not Chris. My pushes never succeeded in sending him down the hill, at least not by himself. If he allowed himself to fall, he would pull me down after him. To his credit, he would help me walk back up the hill with a hand on the small of my back since the shoes I wore were SO slippery on the snow. What a gentleman.

This was a really fun night, and it was also the beginning of being friends with Brittney, it was nice to know that the snowball fight wouldn’t end up being an isolated incident.

to be continued...

A love story

To celebrate Valentine's Day, I'd like to reminisce about our lovely beginning.

**Sheesh! I just meant to write a little but found myself composing a novella. I'll post it in chunks so you can enjoy it over a few days or weeks. Feel free to skip the long version and just read the short and sweet version at the top of each post. Chris' comments are in blue italics**

SHORT AND SWEET VERSION: I remembered meeting Chris before he remembered me.

LONG VERSION PART ONE:
I remember the first time I saw Chris. He was getting his mail as I walked up to our apartments (Victoria Place) mailboxes to get mine. He wore some jeans, a long-sleeved polo shirt and his hair was longish with some spots of yellow/orange on the ends, leftover from a summer "highlighting" experiment). I had my 4 month old niece, Mary, with me and as soon as Chris saw her he said something like, "oh, what a cute baby." I said something like, "yeah, I know...wish I could claim her as mine, but I can't, she's my niece" and he kindly laughed a bit. It was probably his laugh that earned that random moment a spot in my memory.

I remember this incident, although I only associated it with Brittney long after we had become friends and she shared with me the first time she remembered me. Mary was a cute kid, though, so I am sure the quote is accurate. Also, Brittney has always made me smile and laugh, so that part is surely true as well.

Me with Mary outside my apartment at Victoria Place

The next time I remember seeing him was a month or so later. I was with my niece (again) and my sister where her car got stuck in the treacherous Provo ditches. I asked him and his roommates if they'd help lift her car out and they happily obliged. To say thank you, the next day I made them a batch of Sandra's infamous homemade oreos. They loved the cookies so much they all wrote me TONS of little notes in church the next day. Chris had one that said, "do you know how awesome you are? I do." Naturally those notes made me excited and I thought, wow, I just made a bunch of cute guy friends. Enter Christmas Break.

This paragraph requires a bit of an explanation. First, helping cars out of ditches was something we got to do a lot with how deep the ditches are in that part of Provo. I always enjoyed the challenge of figuring out how to get a massive vehicle out, especially when we were few in number. I definitely remember the oreos Brittney made (in deed, how could I forget such scrumptiosity?) During this time our ward had a “Complement Can” and small pieces of paper upon which a person could write something nice about someone else, and then it would be delivered to them. Somehow, probably because we got a little bored at times in Elders Quorum, we (my roommates and I) would write lots and lots of notes for someone each week. We always thought it would be fun for someone to get just an absurd number of notes. If I remember right, we had 4 roommates, and we would often each write 20+, giving someone around 70% of the total notes the ward produced. We often selected cool girls from our FHE group or just random friends from the ward. Anyways, to get back to the point, after the amazing cookies, there was a natural choice for complement recipient of the week.

Over Christmas I often thought of Chris and his roommates (I hadn't as yet realized I liked Chris the best). The first Sunday back I got excited as I saw them in the hallway and then felt totally trampled as they didn't even recognize me. So I threw all those notes away.

Not that it excuses anything, but hopefully our frequent note writing explains our behavior somewhat. I am still sad that she threw them all away, I would be humored to see what all the different notes were.

to be continued...

A pre-brittney Chris

Too cool for words